I chose this topic because I realised how much being a woman is quite demanding, a young woman to be specific.
Basically, Feminine refers to qualities, attributes, and appearances related to and associated with being a woman.
Now, being a woman, just like anything else, comes with its pros and cons. As women, we are expected to talk, walk, dress, and behave in a certain manner.
This has, to a certain extent, enslaved many women throughout the years because they have been deprived of their freedom to become a happy female version of themselves.
Llana Mekler mentioned in her, The Pressures of Being a Woman in Our Society article that, growing up she was always reserved and uptight and found it difficult to stand up for herself. It was until she started getting older and realised the importance of being assertive, however, she was labeled a rude and bad person (Mekler, 2015).
These are some of the things we go through as women, whenever we want to speak out our minds and express our feelings and emotions. Suddenly we become the bad guys.
Today many women are insecure because of what society has told us for the past centuries and decades. Women have always been told to look good always, which is not a bad thing, but it has reached a level whereby many of us do not appreciate how we look because of beauty standards. For example, Colourism, throughout the generations people always made sure to emphasise how lighter-skinned women are more beautiful than those who are of a darker skin tone.
Let us look at influencers and celebrities. Since women need to look a certain way, for instance, flat stomach, big hips, and butt, boobs that are not too big or small, these celebrities or influencers have been portraying these images and looks. This has had a huge effect on many women, especially the young women who are growing and learning.
I am a victim of such. I use the word victim because growing up I had weight problems. I was a fat and chubby teenager, and I was teased because of my weight. I was told things such as, “Fate Legs”, “Big Bums” and so forth. I was once accused of breaking one of the school plastic chairs because I was the “Big girl”.
Now, I started comparing myself to my slender friends and certain people I looked up to such as Beyonce, Rihanna, Willow Smith, and others whose bodies were and still are amazing. I felt inferior and ugly.
These are just a few examples to make you understand the pressure that women go through just to look a certain way that society considered beautiful. I would like to believe that social media has made it worse because the world has become a global village. I can connect with anyone from all over the universe.
This means it is easy for us as women to see other women, become envious, or inspired and start thinking of ways to change ourselves.
There is an article about a woman who killed herself just because her make-up did not stay put on her face (Mirror Now Digital, 2014). Because women feel the obligation to put on make-up, and the fact that it needs to be on point, eyebrows on fleek, constantly doing their nails, once all that goes wrong, they tend to feel ugly, not good enough, or not aligning to beauty trends, of which it is not true. Putting make-up, doing your nails, etc. is actually a good thing, however, this so-called good thing has sort of poisoned many other women who do not want to be left behind”.
I will give an example of Ester from the Bible. When King Xerxes had a downfall with his wife and was now in need of another. Women including Ester had to go through a period of beautifying themselves to please the King, yeah? However, this is different because they were not as exposed as we are today.
Let us look at dressing in relation to the pressure of being feminine. Years ago, women were not allowed to wear pants/trousers because they were regarded as masculine. However, because of revolution and modernisation, things like jeans are now part and parcel of feminine fashion trends. I must emphasise though, we still do get penalised for wearing pants, leggings, jeans, and all, especially if the woman is married.
Statements such as, “You are now someone else’s wife, you need to stop wearing trousers”. These are the pressures we face in society. Like I mentioned earlier, these are the things that have taken our freedom and happiness from us because we are not given the platform to express ourselves. In some cultures, by the way, they go through “the do not wear a trouser because you are married”.
Personally, I feel it is ridiculous. Therefore, women are free to become who they want, in terms of education, careers, and relationships. On the other hand, we should not deprive ourselves by comparing ourselves with other women and start feeling inferior. Instead let us learn from each other, correct, and inspire one another for the good.
Do not let social media or our environment cause you to make irrational decisions because of feminine pressure.
Stay tuned for more talk shows. Bye!
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